I'm humble enough to not excessively brag about myself to any girl I see. I am completely confident in my abilities to do anything. I've been at the top of my life. But when it comes to a point where I feel like I could use a relationship, I feel like I can't see anyone that is worthy enough?

You know the story of the girl who dates down all the time and it's seen all the time. Hot girls with ugly ass guys. Is it because those hot girls are able to control and manipulate those guys more easily? I've heard of girls who date timid guys because they're more often than not, chained by leg by these girls that they wonder how they got in first place.
You also know of the story of the guy who doesn't go for a girl because he thinks she's out of his league so he never tries. He never knows. What about the guy who thinks no girl is good enough for him? In Scrubs, Elliot tells JD it's because no girl can live up to how his mom treated him. Could be that reason for me.
Everytime I see a girl, a few things run through my head. Hot or not. Responsible or untrustworthy. Good personality or ugly? Will she get in the way of my future plans. With all these obstacles running through my head, of course I limit myself to what I can meet. But I'm not willing to settle in for just any girl nor am I willing to spend what little time and money I have currently. I suppose I do need to test the waters but can you imagine that? Usually the story goes, guy asks girl, girl says yes, they go on date, and he hopes it goes well so she wants a second date. for me i feel like its going to be more like guy asks girl, girl says yes, they go on date, and he hopes that he likes her enough to take her on a second date.

It's a good thing guys are pre programmed for sex otherwise they would never be able to look past some of the ugly personalities that girls can have. Scratch that, ugly attitudes. Personalities are very individualized, it's the attitudes and characteristics that are common and ugly.

it is funny when people are confronted with different situations. They always find someway to portray themselves in the light they wish to be seen in. If they enjoy people comforting them all the time, they may constantly complain until they reach an epiphany like in Scrubs "My New Perspective" Or they may be afraid of not being accepted as a good person so they are always finding ways to make themselves look better than they are - whether it is to convince other people or even themselves. Either way, people are constantly comparing themselves in an effort to manifest themselves into something they want to be and it is only through something that has been solidified that they feel like they can have people fully grasp what they mean. People are very symbolic, just look at art. The pursuit of expressing themselves has created such beautiful art that people claim they can relate to but logically, you cannot fully understand another person unless you are that person. People will always be trying to show people something for we are social beings. We have wedding rings to symbolize love or even purity rings to of course symbolize abstinence. We have tattoos that people claim DEFINES them and i am not one to argue with them. We have greek symbols people have idealized into something more than just an L F or E. Regardless, by trying to express themselves, people have tried to have objects define them claiming they are embody the the Brad Pitt hair cut they just got but when one puts it down, people are quick to defend themselves. Quick to put down their hair cut. Quick to be ashamed of their greek letters. Of course that is because by failing to correctly express themselves, they must now find a new way to relate, to communicate, to try to have the other person understand what they mean.

But of course, you only know 99.99% of what I'm trying to say if you understand any of the gibberish i don't even want to bother rereading because i get bored with myself way too easily

I am currently going to school as a massage therapist. Ever since I started school, I have been praised for my ability as a massage therapist. My mentor says she is able to see an aura surrounding me whenever I practice body work and coming from such a spiritual person as she, I am extremely flattered. Even as I continue on to practicing at a yoga studio with the instructors and retired massage therapists, they are extremely impressed with the level of professionalism I have for someone my age and the skill level despite only being in school for 2 and a half months. This is all very promising to me as they all have high hopes in my career as a massage therapist and it gives me high hopes for what my future has in store for me. While starting off in my career before I'm even legal to drink, I sometimes feel like I'm losing out in my youth even though over 18 is already past childhood. I'm about to enter my prime and I am still more inexperienced than I would like to be. I still haven't fought with nature yet; I haven't rafted, rock climbed, or even gone diving. As a young man who has recently aged to his adolescence from an impoverished family, it's not really expected of someone like me to have experienced those things. But now that I'm pursuing my career as a massage therapist, there are many things I see coming towards my life.

First I see myself working in Germany at Edelweiss Lodge and Resort, a luxury hotel constantly looking to hire new massage therapists from the US to work for them and any of the armed forces stationed there. All expenses payed, I will get all the benefits of living in a luxury hotel including getting a chance to be a tourist, and I will be payed 10 an hour. Not bad considering the life experience I will get from working with people from around the United States and that I get free housing and utilities and access the amenities of the hotel. By working at the luxury hotel, I take a step closer to my dream at working at the luxurious Mandarin Oriental Spa in NYC.

Second after a year coming from Germany, my resume will be boosted and I'd have saved enough for a new car and enough to pay off my student loans. Getting out of debt and having transportation will be first priority and I plan on getting a manual hatchback most likely the chevrolet 2012 sonic LTZ w/ turbo and combined 33mpg unless something better comes out by 2013. I haven't figured out where I would be in 2 years. I won't be in Germany, and I don't want to be where I currently am. I want to be back in the bay but I don't know where I'll be working. I suppose I'll have all year in Germany to figure that out!